Talkin' South Carolina With Barnyardian

Game week is here, finally, and we are oh so close to kicking off the season. I mean, I'm actually glad it's Monday. In preparation for Thursday, I exchanged some questions with a gentleman from Barnyardian. His answers to my questions are below; my answers to his are over at his place.

And stay tuned! More exciting Q-and-A action is coming.

With so many guys back, South Carolina figures to improve on its glaring defensive weakness from a year ago--an inability to stop the run. How much defensive improvement do you expect, and which guys are going to make the difference? Any concern that switching to the 4-2-5 scheme will cause problems?

You had to bring up last year didn't you? Ass. I dropped about 10 grand on therapy and 15 grand on new HDTVS... I threw a kid through two of them. I do not advocate child abuse but when the Gamecocks are losing they should know it is not smart to stand with in arm's reach.

Here is a big misconception about last year... we had the players (Brinkley going down hurt) but the scheme sucked. Tell me this, if you are facing Heisman Candidate (and eventual winner) Tim Tebow who is known for running, would you think that using three down line man (3 yards off the ball) is a smart move? I didn't. Tyrone Nix did. Spurrier fired his ass. Now we have Ellis who is known for stopping the run.

I think the adjustment to the 4-2-5 will equate to shaking the rust off in the first game. No big deal.

The guy to watch is Norwood. We all know about Brinkley but Norwood was a beat on the defensive line last year and he has been moved to linebacker. That creates the biggest line backing corps. in the NCAA. I know what you are thinking... big equals slow. Not so with these two. Both are extremely quick.

This coupled with the returning #1 pass defense in the nation should equal the following statement.

I expect South Carolina to finish up 2nd or 3rd in total defense in the SEC.

Do you think we'll see both Tommy Beecher and Chris Smelley in the opener? From what I've read about South Carolina's fall scrimmages, it sounds like Smelley has maybe been a bit better; just how committed is Spurrier to Beecher?

If God isn't still mad at me, you should only see Beecher. If you see Smelley, something is wrong. In regards to Spurrier, I have never heard him talk up a QB the way he has talked up Beecher. I think he heard the complaints about dueling QBs last year.

If I can only visit one bar while I'm in Columbia, where am I going?

Why would you only be able to visit just one? Light weight. Little know fact: Columbia has two massive bar districts: the Vista and the infamous 5 Points. 5 points is to scantily clad coeds and drunken frat boys throwing up like the Vista is to scantily clad cougars and drunken yuppies throwing up. There is one bar that manages to melt the two and it is slightly off the beaten path. It is called Kelly's. Loud music, coeds, cougars, yuppies, frat boys, bar top dancing, CHEAP DAMN BEER, CHEAP DAMN LIQUOR, occasional nudity from said drunken coeds and cougars (if you are in to that sort of thing) and rap battles that would make Vanilla Ice proud = hilarious goodness.

Look into the future and tell me how Stephen Garcia's next drunken run-in with the police will play out.

That is an easy one. He will be arrested for keying Mark Richt's car... then he will pull the fire alarm in Williams Brice forcing the evacuation of 90 thousand people. He will be found two weeks later trying to steal Tim Tebow's Heisman.

I don't know much about South Carolina's receivers and running backs, so tell me a little about those guys.

How do you not know who Kenny McKinley is? The top returning wide receiver in the SEC? The guy who will break all of Sterling Sharpe's records this year? Of course you know who Kenny is. But really, the success of the receiving corps in 2008 rests with the tight ends and Dion Lecorn. Dion came on at the end of the year last year and looks to be a Sidney Rice knock off.

Mike Davis has lived in Cory Boyd's shadow for a minute now. He has always had the potential to be one of those 100 yard game running backs but has not achieved. There are good things coming out of the camp. They say he is bigger, stronger, faster and a better rapper than Kanye West. I made that Kanye West thing up.

If the league apologized, would you think about coming back to the ACC? Because we would totally break up with that bitch Boston College to accommodate you.

Boston College is a bitch! I have been telling everyone that! We have a connection here. Will it go anywhere? I don't know. Do you believe Jedi are real? Everything hinges on that question. Alas, we can't come back to the ACC. Until the team starts winning more than 6 games a year, the only bragging point we have is that we are in the SEC. Example: Everyone: "You can't spell suck with out USC!" US: "Yeah well... you would suck too if you were in the SEC."

Wait. I don't think that is how it goes.