Bunting Talks To Media...Hilarity Ensues

If Bunting says everything's fine, then everything's fine. Some choice selections:

"Frustrated to the point where things aren't going right? No. ... The program's going in the right direction."

Quite obviously.

Bunting said at his weekly news conference that his team is making progress in ways that aren't necessarily apparent on game day, through intangibles like recruiting, developing young players and instilling discipline.

Spectacular. You know what they say: there are lies, damned lies, and total defense, total offense, sacks allowed, scoring defense, pass efficiency, pass efficiency defense, penalties per game, turnover margin, and the score.

"Brace yourselves, gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the
secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing!"

Moving on:

"We're doing well in some areas of having retention in the program. ... That gives you a chance to be good."

So Bunting hasn't revoked anyone's scholarship this week.

"I focus on the opportunity we have Thursday night."

The more apt word is crisitunity.

Kicker Connor Barth said a win against the Cavaliers "would turn our program around tremendously."

Can you turn something around if it's already capsized? I mean, the rudder isn't even in the water.