Bartender! Stiff drink, please.
That's two hours I can't get back.
Top five things less painful than watching tonight's quote-unquote basketball game:
1) Getting kicked in the junk every five minutes.
2) Stabbing one's self in the eye with a fork.
3) Belly-flopping onto pavement from an overpass.
4) Eating an assortment of metallic shards.
5) Driving into a large tree at 65 MPH.
|"My eyes...the goggles do nothing!"|